Life ( or something like it)

April 28th.  Wally's Birthday.  Geesh...we are oooooollllldddd this year! 

Tomorrow ( Monday ) our facilitator is coming for her last visit this year.  I'm actually hoping for us to be done school ( books etc.) by the end of May and I'd like to think of some fun physical activities..purposeful activities for June to end grade 7.  Usually by this time I know what we are doing for the next year but this year, I don't know.  I have some books I want to take a look at.  I need a few hours to spend at Cher to see what else is out there.  Math is a big one we have to change up.  I'm not feeling a rush at this time though.  I plan to enjoy our time off this summer for sure.

As for me...I'm continuing to muddle through the weeks.  Some days are better than others and I'm learning what I need to do.  Counseling continues to go well.  I'm just so fortunate that my counselor ( as my Pastor ) is patient with all the questions I have which are mainly spiritual.  It's amazing how much or should I say, how little one knows especially after being born again for over 20 years.  It's quite discouraging but I'm planning on coming out the other side, I have to.  I continue to fight the depression.  It sucks so bad.  I'm so amazed at what I have shared and with the wisdom and grace that my Pastor has with me.  I find myself constantly in awe that I can be treated so kindly by both him and his wife.  I'm pretty blessed.  Weird thing about it, if I didn't need the counseling, I wouldn't be getting to know them like I am.  Crazy ways that God works.  Perhaps one day I will be able to thank Him?

An update on my memorization:  I know the first two verses of Psalm 42 in both English and Spanish.  It is hard learning it in Spanish but as I go, I'm learning a bit about the language itself so that's cool.    The whole idea of focusing on it has been awesome.  It's exactly what I need.  I don't find myself scrambling so bad when I have panic or anxiety attacks....I just think of this Psalm and it almost works like a guard rail for me.  Keeps me steady until I'm able to move on.  

Life is what life is and what I'm learning is it's a gift.  A precious precious gift.  See you later my friends...God Bless you!!

Bible Memorization...Edited just because

My goal is to know God and walk closely with Him

Discipline:  is an intimidating word.  Janet Pope says in order to memorize Scripture, you don't need more discipline, instead you need more HUNGER...more hunger for God and His Word.

It's not so you can memorize the Bible, it's so you can be thinking God's thoughts.  Trading your thoughts for His.  Meditating on what's important to God instead of what's important to yourself.

I have a note in my Bible on the page where I'm memorizing where I have written these little quotes.  I got them from this article.  I encourage you to read it:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/you-can-memorize-more-you-think/

I have never purposefully memorized Scripture.  I've helped with Awana but that's different.  I have decided that I needed to find something to focus on during this time that my stupid depression still has to invade me and make me half mad.  When I have fly off the handle moments I need something to focus on and even though the Bible is right in front of me, I can't even find a verse..so I usually end up wallowing and making things worse.  I needed a long term plan BUT verses that flowed and worked independent with each other.  I needed something that made sense to me where I'm at so that when I do focus, I am focusing on the right thing...on the right Person.  So....I chose Psalm 42.  I have been reading it off and on now for about 5 weeks and it just so happened to be the Psalm that was at a funeral we were at last week.  Part of me is scared to death because I'm so afraid of failing.  I have set myself up so often in my life for fails and yes, every time, they happen.  I have decided not to give myself a certain time limit at this point.  I truly want to do this for the right reasons.  Problem is, the way my brain thinks, I doubt myself often so of course I will have regrets throughout the process.  That is why I love the notes up at the top written by Janet Pope.  Perspective.

There are some twists though.  :)  I have asked my friend Leslie if she wants to do it with me and she said yes AND the biggest twist ever ( are you ready????)  We are memorizing not only Psalm 42 BUT we are also memorizing Salmos 42.  Yes, we are memorizing in both English and Spanish.  My friend Leslie speaks Spanish and is working really hard at learning English and well, my
Spanish isn't even close to her English but I figured, what a great way to learn the language. Not only that the accountability and the encouragement can't hurt either.  <3 br="">

Here are our verses for this week:

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.

¹ Cual ciervo jadeante en busca del agua,
    así te busca, oh Dios, todo mi ser.

So.....off I go to experience something  new and crazy..... TOODLES!!!!

Transformed By Tough Times by Steve Reed

A book about tough times usually implies that the author has had some personal experiences that connect to that topic. Where did the book start for you? 

In college, I was a kicker and punter at Oklahoma State University under a demanding head coach, Jimmy Johnson. (Football fans might recognize him as the coach for two college national championships in the 80’s and a couple of Super Bowls in the 90’s for the Dallas Cowboys). Just playing for Coach Johnson was tough enough, but my sophomore year, I got my knee bent backwards in a Junior Varsity game in Lincoln, Nebraska. When surgery and rehab efforts didn’t get me back to playing football, I eventually had to hang up the cleats. Looking back now, that experience made me more aware of how other people dealt with adversity and caused me to pay more attention to how I could respond when faced with tough times.

Your book transitions pretty quickly from your football days to life as a church planter and how that actually prompted you to write this book. How did that all happen? 

When football didn’t work out, I found myself drawn to ministry in a great church near the OSU campus. Charlie Baker, the pastor of that church, invited me and other college students to partner with him in creating a weekly worship service for students. In doing that ministry I fell in love with the church and decided to go to seminary and be a pastor myself. After getting married and going through seminary training, we eventually moved to Kansas City to start churches. For nearly 20 years we were involved in the roller coaster rides of starting five different churches in our region. Most days, I absolutely loved it. But in one of those church starts we had a train wreck that knocked me for a loop and out of a church that I loved perhaps more than I loved my wife and family.

So after that you went on an even deeper quest for figuring out what was happening to you?  

Right. With a new intensity I began to systematically search the scriptures to find some help for my pain. And I collected information and stories from others wiser than me and from many who had suffered greatly and come through with amazing faith and character.

You write about a day in Costa Rica that changed your life. What happened?  

After the break up from the church, I wound up going to Costa Rica on a mission trip with my parents. My parents, by the way, were missionaries when I was a kid and 30 years prior we had actually lived in Costa Rica. For me, going back was a fun, blast to the past. But more than that, the people there were cathartic for me. I was an emotional mess much of the time. And one day I must have cried with three or four people who needed to know Christ, but who were in pain. God used my pain and my weeping with others to both minister to them and to me. That day I discovered something about God’s ministry of tears and how sometimes He does more through our weaknesses and frailties than He does with our strengths.

So this is where your international ministry began? 

Yes. While in Costa Rica, a Guatemalan man by the name of Cesar Gonzalez invited me to come to his country and dream about ministries and churches for people in Guatemala who don’t like church. To hear the whole story you’d have to pack a lunch! But let me briefly say that Cesar would have been a mafia hit man if God hadn’t gotten a hold of him! With a little encouragement from some pastor friends in Kansas City, I took him up on his invitation, and for two weeks Cesar and I drove around the country looking at dozens of different situations and groups of people. Little did I know then, that 13 years later we would be working in over 55 locations covering Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. I mention this because I have learned a lot from believers from other cultures and have put much of that into the book. Many of us in North America aren’t aware that both Guatemala and El Salvador have been through recent civil wars. Many people there have shared first hand stories of unimaginable grief and heartache. As I have walked alongside them, my faith has been challenged and I have an increasing desire to not just mindlessly go through my tough times, but to actually think deeply and grow through my tough circumstances. As I’ve done a little bit of that, I think it’s time that I pass some of this on to others who can benefit like I have.

Where can people find your book?

For now it’s only available from the trunk of my car! Or, more conveniently, it can be ordered from the website www.TransformedbyToughTimes.com. Soon it should become available on Amazon and we hope to have a Kindle version available in the near future as well. By the way, before Christmas we finished taping the audio book and I can’t wait to unveil that in the next couple of months too.

You also have a companion Bible study available as well right? 

Yes! Thank you for mentioning that. I think I am about as excited about the study guide as I am the book. On the website, www.TransformedbyToughTimes.com is a 24-session small groups Bible study guide that can be downloaded for free. It matches up to chapters in the book and then goes deeper with pertinent Bible stories and information related to the topic. Incidentally, when someone wants me to coach them through their own tough times, this is essentially the material I use. In early tests, we are getting positive feedback from groups going through the book and the Bible study together. Do check it out!

Find out about more opportunities for a free copy of TRANSFORMED BY TOUGH TIMES, go to https://www.facebook.com/events/338690666247617.
This blog host was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview and/or book review on this blog. CSS Virtual Book Tours are managed by Christian Speakers Services (http://ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

 

 

 

 

ABOUT STEVE REED

Steve Reed is the Chief Encouragement Officer and Cross Cultural Catalyst for Daybreak International, a missions organization he founded that is dedicated to planting churches for the marginalized and forgotten peoples of the world. Currently, his two major projects focus on cowboys in Central America, and Kekchi Indians in the jungles of Guatemala. Those who know Steve best speak of his relentless encouragement and undying loyalty to people who face tough times. When not traveling in Central America, Steve comes home to Kansas City. He is married to Nola, and they have three young adult sons, a beloved daughter-in-law, and a grand baby on the way!  

Obsessed? A short update of sorts.

The journey continues and as I pass the different obstacles and pause and look at them, I take note of what needs to be done.  I know what needs to be done on many levels and one issue I have is obsessing HOW to do it.  What I am slowly starting to realize is that I don't have to do anything, in fact, I can't.  I spend so much time figuring out how to get to the next " level" and how to do it in a way that is glorifying to God, that I forget that it isn't me, but HIM.  What I need to "do" should be a result of my love for God and HIS grace toward me.  SO, that is why I have quit doing.  That is why I have lost contact with friends for a while and family as well.  My journey is a selfish one of sorts.  It includes two of us...God and me.  I may have taken this to crazy levels because of my obsession and I may be way off course but I'm going down the path that I see and the one that I believe God has layed out for me.  I have no idea who will be waiting for me on the other end, if anyone, but I do know that the One taking the journey with me, the One TAKING me on the journey is the most important.

I can say with clarity though, that I truly do hate depression but I'm willing to accept the fact that God could be and is using it to bring me closer to Himself.  He is using it to bring me to an intimate relationship with Him.  I'm definitely not at a point of embracing depression and I'm surely not even at the point that I can even admit that I have it ( ex. to a couple people and in writing).  But I praise the God, I praise my God who will use it anyway and hopefully even me too. 

Blessings to you my friends.  I love you, I truly do. 

A Sunday Tidbit from Henri Nouwen

Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious
and merciful . . . abounding in steadfast love. Joel 2:13

Returning to Trust

In my own life I well know how hard it is for me to trust that I am loved, and to trust that the intimacy I most crave is there for me. I most often live as if I have to earn love, do something noteworthy, and then perhaps I might get something in return.

This attitude touches the whole question of what is called in the spiritual life, the "first love." Do I really believe that I am loved first, independent of what I do or what I accomplish? This is an important question because as long as I think that what I most need I have to earn, deserve and collect by hard work, I will never get what I most need and desire, which is a love that cannot be earned, but that is freely given.

Thus, my return is my willingness to renounce such thoughts and to choose to live more and more from my true identity as a cherished child of God.

Henri Nouwen

 

The Moses Quilt by Kathi Macias

The Quilt Series sounds interesting, but what makes it unique or sets it apart from the many other quilt books that are so popular right now?
First, I must confess to NOT being a quilter. I’ve never even considered taking it up! Second, I love quilts and have always been fascinated by the stories behind them. I combined that fascination with my passion for writing issues-related fiction, and I ended up with a three-book series that is, for the most part, contemporary but told against historical backdrops.

Sounds interesting! Can you tell us a bit about each of the three books in the series? Sure! Book one, The Moses Quilt, involves an interracial romance, where the couple works through their concerns and apprehensions as they learn the story of Harriet Tubman’s faith and courage as told through the patches of the Moses quilt that represents her life. Book two, The Doctor’s Christmas Quilt, deals with the topic of abortion told against the backdrop of the life of America’s first woman doctor, Elizabeth Blackwell, who was strongly pro-life. Book three, The Singing Quilt, deals with a young woman overcoming a physical disability; the background for that story is based on the “Queen of Gospel,” Fannie Crosby.

Was it difficult to do the research on these women, particularly Harriet Tubman? What did you learn about her in the process? I knew more about Harriet Tubman than I did about Elizabeth Blackwell or Fannie Crosby, but I expanded my knowledge of each as I did the research. Harriet Tubman’s amazing faith and courage is what stood out most to me about her life. Here was a woman born a slave, penniless for the majority of her life, and illiterate except for the scripture verses she had memorized (even if she couldn’t read them). Her prayer life was powerful, even as a child. After she escaped to the North and began making forays back into the South to help bring others out of slavery, friends would caution her against it. “Harriet, there’s a reward on your head—dead or alive. Aren’t you afraid?” She brushed off their fear and explained that she believed God had called her to help rescue her people; therefore, He would protect her. When her job was done, He would take her home to heaven, so what was there to fear? Wow, what a dynamic woman of God! I also learned that her achievements went far beyond rescuing slaves, though that’s what she’s best known for. She also served as a spy for the Union Army, worked as a nurse, and opened a home for indigent elderly former slaves. She died there herself in her mid-nineties, and the entire town flew their flags at half-mast in her honor.

Tell us a little more about the contemporary story in The Moses Quilt. The majority of the contemporary story is set just outside San Francisco. Mazie is white and deeply in love with Edward, an African-American lawyer who adores her and wants to marry her but tries to be respectful of her hesitation to make a commitment. What he doesn’t know is that Mazie is disturbed by what she considers secrets in her family’s past, secrets that begin to be unraveled as her great-grandmother, Mimi, tells her and Edward the story behind her Moses quilt, which she bought years earlier in Gee’s Bend, Alabama, a little town famous for its quilts. Edward thought he knew everything there was to know about Harriet Tubman, who had always been somewhat of a hero to him, but Mimi’s story opens up new avenues of discovery for both the young people in this relationship—and takes them straight back to the quilt’s origin in Gee’s Bend.

This sounds like more than just a “feel-good” story. Can it be used as a study book in some way? Absolutely! As with nearly all my books we have free downloadable discussion questions at www.newhopedigital.com that will enable The Moses Quilt to be read as a study book for individuals or used as a discussion/study book for groups.

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For more opportunities for free copies of THE MOSES QUILT by Kathi Macias, please follow this book tour on Facebook at:  http://www.facebook.com/CSSVBT.KathiMacias. This blog host was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview and/or book review on this blog. CSS Virtual Book Tours are managed by Christian Speakers Services (http://ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

 About the Author: Kathi Macias

Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored nearly 40 books and ghostwritten several others. A former newspaper columnist and string reporter, Kathi has taught creative and business writing in various venues and has been a guest on many radio and television programs. Kathi is a popular speaker at churches, women’s clubs and retreats, and writers’ conferences. She won the prestigious 2008 member of the year award from AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) at the annual Golden Scrolls award banquet. Kathi “Easy Writer” Macias lives in Homeland, CA, with her husband, Al.

Another week...coming to a close and..

I'm so grateful.  I'm totally exhausted;so tired.  Wally was on nights this week and I drove the kids all over the place it seemed, every night.  I even had to stay up late so I could go and get Greg.  Add to the fact that I didn't sleep well AT ALL and my brain totally stressed me out as usual.  Not only that, I watched my exhausted teenager try to get through the week.  He turned 16 on Monday and it all went downhill.  He's had more homework this week it seems than he had all last semester, plus bball and now Saturday mornings 7am..conditioning at the school for football.  I did let him take Thursday afternoon off and I'm glad for that considering he spent 4 hours on homework.  He was a zombie.  I don't remember grade 10 being so tiring but to be honest, I don't think I tried even 1/2 as much as Greg is.  He's a good boy...does us proud.  It won't be the last afternoon I let him take off so he can get some rest.

Then there's my Danny boy.  So content, like his mom, to just stay home.  He's such a homebody.  He will be 13 in about an hour and a half.  I'm thinking that I might look into geocaching for us.  I think we would both like that.  It will get us outside more and give us some much needed exercise too.  He doesn't have the school stress that Greg has though some days he thinks he does when he things his teacher is a slave driver...o.......k........

Luckily, Wally will start a new job and day shift on Monday.  At least that way, maybe I can go back to perhaps getting some rest.  I might not sleep any more hours, but I will hopefully rest.  Also, maybe we can go back to being our usual dysfunctional family rather than, dysfunction minus one.  :)

Have an awesome weekend!  GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE!