Monday, September 15, 2014

Teaching the TRUTH Even When It's Hard

As a parent and a Sunday School teacher I take very seriously what I teach my children.  I know that they will and they do learn other things that may be total opposite of what I teach, but I stand beside what I teach because it's the TRUTH.

Just this Sunday I added a little something else to our Sunday School.  One of my biggest issues  is the very core ( I believe ) to both my depression and codependecy and that is my lack of self worth.  I've always gotten it from people and frankly no one is ever good enough in our eyes, even if we don't say it out loud.  We all have flaws, that's a gimme.  Problem is, if we get our self worth from people who see us with flaws then that is how we will see ourselves and how we will define ourselves.  I'm not good enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm a loser....we can go on and on.

I know this is my issue and have actively been working on it for a couple years now.  I laugh at that because if you know anything about the grace of God, working on it is the LAST thing I have to do.  ANYWAY, that always makes me snicker when I have read what I wrote and I know it to be wrong.

So what I have decided is at the beginning of Sunday school class I will have a scripture verse and quote for them.  I told the kids this Sunday that they don't want to grow up to discover that what they thought of as truth truly isn't truth.  NOW is the time to learn it, to know it and to embrace it.  And maybe, just maybe through my teaching, I will accept this for myself as well. 




Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Repremanded by God



I heard some news on Sunday and I've been steamed ever since.  I have had thoughts about " it was unfair," " what about me," " you said," etc. etc.  Yeah, pretty selfish thoughts and today well, today I just had a bad attitude.  I knew it and I was still feeling entitled.  I couldn't even write in my Gratitude journal.  My attitude was that bad. 

So I'm doing some school stuff, being all steamed and mad and stuff and all of a sudden " turn off your computer and get on your knees. Pray for ............"  WHAT?  You want me to pray for something that I feel entitled to!  No way. " Pray."  But I want to be part of it!  "Pray! Just because you want to be part of it doesn't mean you don't pray about it."  UGH  " Pray! " I got on my knees ( the first time I have prayed on my knees in how long ) and I prayed.  I made a commitment to pray about it every week.

I was so ashamed for my attitude but God....but God extended to me, not only grace but mercy.  He forgave me for my horrible attitude.  He knows the desires of my heart and knows why I was so upset.  I guess this is another one of those " God's timing " things.  He knows what is best for me and in His timing, as circumstances allow, it will happen as He desires, not as Alexis desires.  I know it isn't the last time that I will feel bad about this ( and hurt ) but I pray that my attitude won't get so bad again that I can't even think of anything to be thankful for.

Thank you God for having mercy on me!!





Saturday, September 6, 2014

Mandisa: Press On ( Video and Song Lyrics )

Sometimes a song says what you can't put into words.  I love Mandisa and I love this song.  I hope you are blessed by it.  Have an awesome and blessed weekend!  



When I’m alone, when I’m afraid
When I have had all I can take
Losing my grip, I start to slip away
When I can hear the voice of doubt
Inside my head, screaming loud
Strengthen my faith, and help me say
Today, today

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on
I’m gonna press on, press on

How many storms have I been through
How many led me right to You
You’re using the pain, the hardest days
For my good, my good
So what do I fear
God, You are with me
Guiding my steps today
Through the mountains, valleys, sun and rain
Lord, lead the way, lead the way

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on

One step in front of the other
No looking back, no looking back
One step in front of the other
I’m gonna press on, I’m gonna press on [x2]

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on
I’m gonna press on, press on

One step in front of the other
No looking back, no looking back
One step in front of the other
I’m gonna press on, I’m gonna press on


Thursday, September 4, 2014

I've said it before and I'm saying it again....

Sometimes life is tiring and it's easy to feel just plain worn out.  Sometimes circumstances are just too hard to understand and the the thought of even praying is tiring.  Even when we JUST call out the name of Jesus, He hears our hearts and cares about our lives and what is going on.  As I go through my days, I ask God often, where are You?  Why aren't you working quicker or even at all?  Why do you seem so far away from me?  The tiredness of circumstances, depression and some minor health issues are enough to send me over the deep end.

AND THEN.... I go into a store and see what I have been looking for, praying for.  I don't like change much in any area of my life including changes like glucose machines for my diabetes.  I see it and I know at that moment that GOD has not forgotten about me.  He may be making me bide my time in the big things...but He is in the small things and once again, I am so grateful that I can't help to praise Him on my way to the van. 








“The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock! May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Is peace a possibility here?



This was a question that almost came up in a conversation I had today.  We were talking about peace and my friend thought maybe that peace was for "later."  Truth is, I didn't let her finish that thought.  Why does God allow suffering?  Why does God allow some people to go through such horrible experiences in life?  I definitely didn't have the answers in fact, I ask myself that same question often.  There are lots of things happening in my life that I wish wasn't happening.  I wish things were different.  I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.  The friend who I was speaking to feels the same way. 

Only one word came to my mind and that was peace.  My friend's desire was to have something happen in her life that would bring her peace.  I nice " peaceful " circumstance.  I told her that God does not promise us that kind of peace.  He promises us peace IN the circumstances.  I can say this with conviction because I believe God's Word and His promises.  I can't say this because I experience it, but I know it and I know that one day I will have it too.  I look forward to the day that I can say this not only with conviction because of my belief BUT out of experience. 





Monday, September 1, 2014

Favorite time of Year?

Pretty close anyway.  One of the things I love about homeschooling is preparing for it.  In some ways, it's probably the easiest part too.  From the time I begin in April or May to now, I have usually radically changed my mind over and over.  It's nice to finally have a plan.  As I write out my plans and then write out Danny's schedule ( loosely ) for him, I'm thankful I have this opportunity.  We start grade 9 a week from today. 

Unfortunately this is probably the only time of year I feel I have any purpose.  Once the planning is done and we are on our way, then I feel a little lost and lose my focus.  It's too bad it's like that, even though I know it's not the way it should be.  It's too bad I'm like that though I am continually trying to change that.  I look for purpose through Bible readings and books and Bible studies.  I look for purpose in all the wrong places and I that because I know all I need to do is look up and just accept God's amazing Grace for me.   It's so easy to say. 

I'm glad though that He is patient with me and that He is faithful, inspite of me and my tendencies. 




Saturday, August 30, 2014

Faith: Believing the Truth

Knowing that it isn't about feelings but in believing the Truth and God's Word and what He says about you....that's faith and going one step further believing it when you feel the complete opposite.  God is faithful to the brokenhearted and the hurting.